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Ficlet: Instant Star: Cold December (Karma) G/PG

August 5th, 2008 (09:02 pm)

Title: Cold December
Fandom: Instant Star
Characters: Karma. Allusions to Spiederman, Karma/Spied.
Word Count: 498, not including lyrics at the beginning
Rating: G/PG (nothing that would be considered "bad" is in this at all)
Spoilers: AU past "Every Breath You Take"
Author's Notes: Written for a challenge. The challenge was for "angst" of up to 500 words. I'm not really all that proud of this, but I suppose it is pretty decent. Hopefully I will be able to write more for this fandom soon. Title taken from Cory Lee's (Karma) song Cold December. I wish this fit the tone better, but I have plans to expand on it and make it fit.

Wanna let you know that / I'm so alone / And I cant take it ...
Summer's come and gone / Watch the colors change / This cold december / Now the sky is gray / Snow is on the ground / All those sunny days / Now nowhere to be found


The cold wind whipped around her and her coat barely stopped it from chilling her to the bone. From her spot on the sidewalk, she could make out the faint movement of someone lighting candles inside. The wind and snow had shut down the studio, the entire city. Instead of staying inside, she left the studio and just walked down the empty winter streets. She hadn't thought of where she was going, she just allowed herself to walk until she couldn't anymore and stopped when she came to a familiar building.

After all of their talks about sticking together no matter what, their marriage ended and it was all her fault. It wasn't that she didn't love him, because she did, but she couldn't stop messing up. In order to keep him from getting hurt any further, she had to go through with the divorce. Someone was going to get hurt, she had told him, but he didn't believe her.

The divorce hadn't actually been her idea; it had been Thurman's. After all, he was the producer, and she had been more than willing to allow him to control her life. Of course, it wasn't just hers. Regardless, she hadn't stopped him from giving them scripts that would end their life together, nor did she stop him from setting her up for yet another reality show.

Tabloids constantly had her on the cover, even if it was just in a tiny box in the corner. She was even asked to do photoshoots alone instead of with the one who came before her, and the interviews actually talked about her. That was what she had wanted the entire time, right?

What she didn't want was a room full of guys, ranging from intellectual to not, beefy to scrawny, shy to outspoken. She literally had the pick of all guys that a girl could ever want, but, in the end, she was no longer a girl. When it came down to it, she was a divorced woman who was still in love with her ex, and there was no way there could be another him in the room.

She went through with it because it was publicity, it was fame.

She chose a new husband, someone that fought for her for no reason, and someone who knew very little about her. He never asked to know her real name and she never thought about telling him.

She started her life over again, with a trained smile on her face, living life as she had before. Her life was oddly the same, just with new people in certain places in her life, but her feelings were more complex than ever.

The snow stopped falling and she could hear the sounds of snow plows a few streets over. She allowed herself to take one last look at the candle illuminated window and walked back the direction she had come, back to the life she had always wanted, the life she would so desperately give up now.