Fic: Gossip Girl: Not Tonight (Vanessa, Dan) PG
Title: Not Tonight
Fandom: Gossip Girl
Characters/Pairing: Vanessa, Dan (implied D/V), others mentioned including Dan/Serena
Word Count: 1019
Summary: She thought too much actually, something that Dan had once told her that he liked about her, possibly even loved. Now, though, he had someone else to love things about.
Spoilers: all episodes to be safe
Note: Written for hazyflights. This is the first time that I've written Dan or Vanessa so hopefully it's pretty decent. Title from a Tegan & Sara song. It's not really that connected to the story. Enjoy!
Before she moved away to Vermont she and Dan had a Christmas tradition. They would spend half of the night a few nights before Christmas watching the worst looking and sounding Christmas movies they could find at the movie store before he would have to go home - they were barely fifteen and his mother was not exactly the trusting kind. It was a three year old tradition, but it was a tradition nonetheless. When she moved back to Brooklyn it was a couple of months before, but she started to plan for it anyway.
They hadn't spent all that much time together since she moved back and she was determined to make it the best annual event that they had ever had together.
She wasn't surprised when he informed her the day before their usually scheduled activity that he had a date with Serena. There were going to some fancy cocktail dinner hosted by none other than Blair Waldorf's mother. Of course. She let her eyes drift to the floor for only a second before looking back at him with a look of understanding.
"Oh! Great. Well, you two have fun." She smiled brightly and she was sure that he knew that she was upset. "Don't let your tie choke you."She was trying out some form of comedic relief, but it didn't exactly sound funny once the words left her lips.
"I didn't know that we had plans, Vanessa."
She hadn't told him, he was right, but somehow he had figured it out in that moment. She wasn't surprised. He was the only one who could ever tell what she was thinking.
"I know. I know." She nodded. "I just... yeah, I know."
He looked at her in that way that only he could, that way that made her feel like she had something to apologize for, but she refused.
She turned and walked away, through the Humphrey living room/kitchen and out their large door without looking back into his room. He didn't try to follow her and she imagined that he followed Serena out every time she was upset with him. It was a wonder how positions could change so quickly.
She didn't let herself cry until she was half-way up the stairs at her sister's building. Vanessa Abrams never cried over a guy, but, then again, Dan Humphrey wasn't just a guy. She sat on the stairs and let herself really cry over him for the first time and hoped that no one had to get to a higher floor.
Her sister didn't even look up from her book when she walked in twenty minutes later, tear streaks still on her face even though she tried to wipe them away before coming in.
She slammed her bedroom door, but no one came to see what was wrong and the phone didn't ring for the rest of the night.
To his credit, he did try to apologize to her whenever anything about changed plans was mentioned by anyone, but she never really allowed him to.
Her sister had a gig on New Year's Eve, leaving her alone in the apartment with a stack of bad New Year's movies and a blanket and a couch. It was almost enough to keep her from really thinking about all of the things that had changed, but it did still happen.
She thought too much actually, something that Dan had once told her that he liked about her, possibly even loved. Now, though, he had someone else to love things about.
She tried not to feel too bad about herself, but it was hard. Dan was now dating Serena van der Woodsen and she was just a regular girl. Now she was simply "the friend". She thought that, in that case, it was acceptable to feel just a little sorry for herself.
It wasn't that the boy she loved was with another girl, it was just that she felt that ever since she came back they haven't had much time together. She didn't have a plan to "win him back", but she would at least like to see him every once in a while.
A lot of times no one was even at the loft when she stopped by, something that surprised her more than any of it. So much had changed and she felt out of the loop since she hadn't. She was still the same Vanessa and Dan was supossed to like that, to embrace that, but he didn't seem to be doing either.
The first movie ended and she changed DVDs. She settled back on the couch, vowing to herself not to think during this second one. Sometimes criticizing the work of others made her feel better and she was holding onto that belief tonight.
She woke up to the sound of banging on the door and throbbing in her neck. She sat up and wrapped a hand around her neck and massaged the aching spot, allowing the banging to continue for just a second as she composed her thoughts.
She finally stood up and looked at the clock, letting the hand fall from her neck. It was still New Year's Eve and evidently she had only slept for twenty minutes.
She opened the door and he walked in without a word or her even moving away from the door to allow him in.
He looked and smiled.
"What are you doing here," she continued.
"We're friends, right?"
"If you insist." She titled her head as well as she could, ignoring the pain in her neck, and narrowed her eyes at him.
"Then we're going to spend the rest of New Year's together."
She smiled before she could stop herself and straightened back up beforing going to sit back on the couch. He sat next to her and she restarted the movie. She didn't ask any questions and he didn't offer any answers. She honestly didn't want to know.
She could forgive him just this once. Suddenly things were back to normal, and she could only hope that it would last.